subtle lessons or deliberate humiliation

If its not remotely controlling my computer its regulating the voltage so that my computer shuts down by itself that's the idea of the accomplices hired by my family to bring about a change in me. They continuously insist on being a*&holes and whom am i to deny their identity. Today they sent home an executive from the internet providers just to let me know that my computer is not bugged, tapped or whatever it is they do to follow my online and offline activities. i don't know how dumb they think i am. this world has a crazy habit of taking kindheartedness to dumbness and inability. and my father is already sick.... now how sick can this get.

For the benefit of the people who don't know whats going on in my life i would like to bring this whole thing into perspective

# my parents say they don't have any money and repeatedly (almost at every instance that requires money) run to "the bank" to get money or wait for their "pension to come" and yet don't want me to find a job that at least lightens the burden(i think) of the projected bankruptcy.
# They expect me to continue my studies while all the while they make me "realise" that Ive become a burden for them by making me talk with people who "subtly" point out that im too old to be depending on my parents.
# They expect me to believe all the shit they tell me about not knowing anything that is happening in my life.
# They expect me to forget all the things that have happened till date and more importantly forgive my oppressors (read as their hired hoodlums and my "benefactors").
# They make fun of me and yet expect me to not get hurt. (seriously people ill post one of my pics and im damn sure you'll agree with me that I'm not a stone).
# They repeatedly point out indirectly that Im a spineless wimp who cant make his own decisions and yet when i take decisions they don't approve them and set out on sabotaging them.
# The worst part is they act as if they are ok with my life while all the while meddling with it out of sight thereby reducing the little oppurtunities they have in putting forth their views infront of me.

Now what i wanted to know is where is the integrity of my friends or whatever it is that tells you to do right in the face of pressure, they cant hurt me just because my parents told them to do something stupid that would "change me". Maybe they thought im too shallow to have feelings or im too dumb to recognize that they are hurting me. Now where did I go wrong? Was it in choosing friends? No, friends are supposed to be people who love you even after knowing everything about you right? (atleast thats what my book of "friendship quotes" tells me). The only way out of this deadlock i believe is armageddon or a nuclear fallout or as my parents believe "Christ's second coming".

Now seriously if you are listening to me Dear friends stop playing possum for five years i searched for friends who would "stand by me all the way" (thats how i dedicated my project to my friends) and i didn't find a single one except of course the one who had the heart to apologize before all this nonsense began, thinking that i didnt know what was happening. I appreciate that a lot, buddy, you rock you are way cool than you and I know. Well there ends my crazy ranting and yes my dear fellows i don't know anything and I believe that nobody is sniffing for packets on my lan line, controlling my mouse etc etc.. i also believe that its utterly impossible to control a computer remotely even when it keeps shutting down with "overheating problems" or restarts itself as if it has a mind of its own right in my face(or have the scientists developed artificial intelligence that can control me? in that case im completely sorry) and everything is fine with my life except of course anything that has gone wrong was completely my doing. There you see i can be rational, sensible and a complete idiot writing stuff like this thinking that it can alleviate my pain and bring some sense into my "benefactors" now for some vodka and lime and cheers to my screwed up life and to your weekend. well there's one thing i have to admit with all the attention I'm receiving i feel like a small celebrity who was caught while getting kicked by a roadside hooker right in the nuts while on dope (or whatever it is they do to get their faces on page three). speaking of celebrities i sing pretty well in the bathroom i don't know why it inspires me and elevates my normal "run off the mill" voice to a divine one. if only they had studios in bathrooms and stage sets in bathroom themes, seriously talent nowadays is neither recognised nor supported ...........a deadly blow to upcoming artists like me, ok heard you, ill ease up on the vodka but not before you hear me sing.....................take one down pass it around 67 bottles of pop on the wall.........